I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
