I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
