WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
we're so committed to being not committed
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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