I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
