Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
