can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
