Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
