Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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