just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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