At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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