Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
