it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
