So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
