hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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