Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
