I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
