you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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