I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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