Im at strip club and am horny
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Princesses don't give blow jobs
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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