I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
