Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
