my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
God, I missed his penis.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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