I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
