Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize