Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
