shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
