1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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