im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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