the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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