hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
