While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
