plz talk dirty to me
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
