Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
