Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
