We're facebook friends in real life
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
