I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize