he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
