just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
