What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize