the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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