I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
