I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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