Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
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When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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