WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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