would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
