i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
are you so shy because you have an std?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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