well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
