shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
you made out with another girl for some wings
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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