I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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