You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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