brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
