Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
