well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
