My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
