"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
