Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
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