i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
