Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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