Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
