I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
