If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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