I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
