Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
