my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
