I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
