yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
